Category Archives: Tips

Code Words in the LS to Keep You Safe

Safewords are more prevalent in the BDSM lifestyle, but what about for swingers? Surely there is a time when you want to indicate to your partner that you’re a NO for what’s being offered without offending the person or couple who are offering. Maybe it’s dancing and flirting with a couple on the dance floor, and your partner is like ‘Yes? You’re interested in this person to play with tonight?” You may not want to say out loud, “No, I’m not interested” in front of them and ruin the mood or offend them. So what can you do?

Some couples have code words worked out for just such a scenario. One couple I spoke to said they use fruits as an indicator. She doesn’t like lime, so might say something like ‘I taste lime in this drink’, or ‘with a lime twist’, to indicate she’s just not feeling it with this person. With a quick comment (or even a quick whispered word “Lime” in his ear) they have communicated clearly and without offending the other couple.

Likewise, when she is interested and would like to take it further, she uses ‘strawberry’ as their positive identifier. “Boy, it would be great to have some strawberries right now!” or “I smell strawberries!” and he knows he can help move the action from the dance floor to the playroom.

Using code words between you and your partner could help take some of the awkwardness out of communicating in front of others. It’s hard to say “Honey, while these people seem perfectly nice, I’m just not interested in them.” but dropping a code word that no one but your partner knows and understand is harmless and won’t hurt anyone’s feelings.

In the kink community, they use stoplight colors to indicate a willingness to participate. Green means GO, obviously. One could use this too while at a swing club “Oh look at that couple over there. I’m GREEN with envy over her shoes!”

Yellow usually indicates something is just not quite right and is often used as an indicator that play needs to slow down. Again, in swinging this could be good to extract yourselves from play that may have already started but you no longer are feeling it, and want to stop or take a break.

And Red is an All Stop safeword. In BDSM it is expected that if one says Red as a safeword, all play halts. Both or all participants can use a safeword, not just the bottom or sub. Likewise, in the swinging lifestyle, Red can be used to indicate to your partner that ‘you gotta get me out of here now!’ or ‘I am NOT into this and I am done.’

Of course, you and your partner should have this all worked out before you arrive at a club or party, so you are on the same page and you’re not throwing out code words that they aren’t picking up on it. Use words that aren’t likely to be used at a party or event, but aren’t so out of the blue (like saying ‘Broccoli’) that the other person or couple are left scratching their heads. Also, avoid using ‘boner killer’ words or phrases, like ‘your mother called today’, or it could kill the mood entirely.

This trick isn’t for everyone obviously. But if you think it might work for you, talk to your partner about it and come up with some safe or code words that just the two of you use. If nothing else, it’ll bring you closer together as honest and open communication skills are a cornerstone for the swinging lifestyle.

Good luck and have fun!

27 Reasons to Explore a Consensual, Non-Monogamous Relationship

A sexy couple about to play together

Sexy Couple about to play together

A relationship between 2 adults is most often monogamous in North America, but why does it have to be so? It is up to the couple to decide if swinging or swapping is for them, or even if they wish to attend a Couples club. Good, clear communication is a great way to start on this road to discovery and taking baby steps along the way.

Here are some reasons why couples might explore a non-monogamous relationship.

  • New Relationship Energy (NRE) – that excitement we feel when we meet someone new
  • Compersion – the positive feelings one gets from seeing their partner enjoy sex or a relationship with another
  • Seeing partner happy/excited – many ‘service oriented’ people out there
  • Encourages fitness – we always want to look our best when dating new people
  • A place to dress up or down – dress in whatever way makes you feel sexy
  • Make friends with like-minded people
  • Practice flirting – with your partner or with others
  • Play with others without lying or cheating on your spouse
  • Improve your sexual techniques – practice makes perfect
  • Learn new techniques from others – whether by doing or by watching
  • Express your desires and fantasies without fear of judgment
  • Amplify the commitment in your primary relationship
  • Open conversations with your partner
  • Watch your inhibitions fly out the window
  • Dirty dance with your partner or others
  • Openly discuss your fantasies and desires
  • Explore your bi side while having your partner nearby
  • Encourage your partner to explore their bi side
  • Enjoy extended foreplay
  • Learn to take your time and appreciate sexual arousal and pleasure
  • Explore your exhibitionistic or voyeuristic side
  • Opens a line of communication with your partner
  • Learn to give and receive pleasure on a whole different level
  • Enjoy foreplay without rushing to the finish line
  • Act out lifelong fantasies
  • Learn to trust your partner, deepening your bond
  • Fills the Spank Bank, sparks sexy conversation with your partner

So, there are just a few reasons to explore this Lifestyle. Have a conversation with your partner, then visit The O Zone, Where the party is at!

Hot Deals on Admission at The O Zone!

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We understand that money is tight these days, and are trying to make the events at The O Zone as accessible as possible, offering discounted admission at regular events for existing couple members arriving before 10pm on both Friday and Saturday nights. For a limited time, our Friday B410 admission is free, but this offer will expire at some point, so take advantage of it while you can!

Have you heard about DP Fridays? In this case, DP = Double Play. While you are at the O Zone on Friday night, pre-pay only $20/couple before you leave, and your admission to return the next evening is covered! Combine that with the B410 FREE admission on Friday night, and you can get in both nights for only $20!! What a deal!

At The O Zone, we cater to open minded and adventurous, committed couples, and we hope that by offering these and other seasonal, themed or event-specific discounts we will see you in The Zone, very soon!