Tag Archives: swinger lifestyle

Swinger Dictionary

An image of a book highlighting the word Dictionary

There are a lot of words used in the swinging Lifestyle that you may be unfamiliar with. Here are some of those, and an explanation.

Swingers – Non-monogamous people looking for sexual interaction, at least on some level, with others that are not their spouse. Swingers are most commonly committed or married couples, but singles can also partake in the swinging lifestyle.

Soft Swap – Meaning no penetrative sex, but most other sexual acts are open for negotiation, such as flirting, kissing, oral or mutual masturbation.

Full Swap – Interested in any or all sexual acts, including penetration.

Same Room – Couples who are interested in playing with others but in the same room where they can make eye contact with their partner.

Compersion – The opposite of jealousy. The feeling of excitement and fulfillment for your partner while they play with others.

Ellis (LS) – A universal way of asking another if they are swingers. “Do you know Ellis?” Some also use “Alice”, both sound like “LS”. LS = Lifestyle

Unicorn – A single, bisexual woman interested in playing with and having sex with couples.

Bull – A single man, usually well hung, who is interested in penetrative sex with women, often while the husband watches.

Cuckold – A married man who watches nearby as his wife has sex with another man, but usually does not become involved.

Hotwife – A wife who will have sex with other men, often while her husband is nearby. A hotwife is often insatiable, wanting and needing more sex than her partner.

Monogamish – A couple who attend events to flirt and meet others but rarely play might consider themselves ‘monogamish’, meaning mostly monogamous.

Swingle – A single that wishes to attend a couples event will invite a single of the opposite sex to attend with them, and they become ‘swingles’, even though they attend the event together.

Negotiation – Speaking clearly and plainly about what it is you are looking for, listening to what they want, and agreeing to a plan everyone likes.

Comet – A person that passes through your life quickly and is gone. Comets are popular on vacation, where you may not ever see them again.

Swinger Soup – A pool or hot tub that is full to capacity with swingers socializing, flirting and playing.

We hope this list helps you to understand some of the lingo used by swingers today, and that some potentially resonate with you!

Turn Offs in Women in the Swing Lifestyle

I came across a Forum on a Swinger Dating site, and after running through more than 60 responses I figured this would be a good thing to consolidate and share with you!

The question is: What Turn Offs do you find in Women in the Lifestyle?

In most cases, I was unable to determine if it was a man or woman responding to the question, but at least a few were definitely female responses. I’m sure most of this list applies to turn-offs in women AND men, so guys, listen up too!

In the first category, these issues were mentioned often and were repeated by others.

A row of smiling beings with one unhappy one

Bad Attitude

Predominant Turn Offs:
Poor, Pissy or Pretentious attitude, being rude
Poor hygiene, smelly/BO, smelling of smoke
Lying, spreading rumors, speaking poorly/rudely about others
Speaking badly about their own bodies, poor self-image

A woman in a hoodie smoking a cigarette

A smelly habit

Things on the Secondary list were mentioned at least twice but not as often as the first group.

Secondary Turn Offs:
Clingy, jealousy, Drama Queens
Say they are ready but aren’t, can’t communicate what she wants
Strong perfume, heavy makeup, lipstick
Smelling of alcohol or cigarettes
Poor grooming, unshaved/unruly hair
Teasers, mind games
Lack of subtlety, pushy, rude, arrogance
Attention seekers, need to be center of attention
Being drunk or high

Honorable Mentions: (only mentioned in one response)
Fake nails, wigs/weaves
Jewelry like a Xmas tree
Ugly feet
Perfume and lipstick
“lacking a pulse”/dead fish

Funny that there is nothing in this list that state size, race, color, age, stretch marks, scars or any of the other hangups so many of us have are a turn-off. So perhaps the problem is our own and not that of the general swinger population. If you have low self-esteem, keep it to yourself.

It seems that most of this list is manageable, and are things one can change to make themselves more attractive. Check your attitude at the door, ditch the artificial scent (most prospective play partners would rather smell YOU than your perfume) and put your best foot forward! (of course, we can’t do anything about the feet we were born with. I think the “ugly feet” comment was probably from a foot fetishist!)

If you are new to this lifestyle, maybe this will help you in beginning your exploration.

Perhaps this insight will help you in your quest for marital bliss. Or at least swingers bliss!

27 Reasons to Explore a Consensual, Non-Monogamous Relationship

A sexy couple about to play together

Sexy Couple about to play together

A relationship between 2 adults is most often monogamous in North America, but why does it have to be so? It is up to the couple to decide if swinging or swapping is for them, or even if they wish to attend a Couples club. Good, clear communication is a great way to start on this road to discovery and taking baby steps along the way.

Here are some reasons why couples might explore a non-monogamous relationship.

  • New Relationship Energy (NRE) – that excitement we feel when we meet someone new
  • Compersion – the positive feelings one gets from seeing their partner enjoy sex or a relationship with another
  • Seeing partner happy/excited – many ‘service oriented’ people out there
  • Encourages fitness – we always want to look our best when dating new people
  • A place to dress up or down – dress in whatever way makes you feel sexy
  • Make friends with like-minded people
  • Practice flirting – with your partner or with others
  • Play with others without lying or cheating on your spouse
  • Improve your sexual techniques – practice makes perfect
  • Learn new techniques from others – whether by doing or by watching
  • Express your desires and fantasies without fear of judgment
  • Amplify the commitment in your primary relationship
  • Open conversations with your partner
  • Watch your inhibitions fly out the window
  • Dirty dance with your partner or others
  • Openly discuss your fantasies and desires
  • Explore your bi side while having your partner nearby
  • Encourage your partner to explore their bi side
  • Enjoy extended foreplay
  • Learn to take your time and appreciate sexual arousal and pleasure
  • Explore your exhibitionistic or voyeuristic side
  • Opens a line of communication with your partner
  • Learn to give and receive pleasure on a whole different level
  • Enjoy foreplay without rushing to the finish line
  • Act out lifelong fantasies
  • Learn to trust your partner, deepening your bond
  • Fills the Spank Bank, sparks sexy conversation with your partner

So, there are just a few reasons to explore this Lifestyle. Have a conversation with your partner, then visit The O Zone, Where the party is at!